he's jst not that into u, really? maybe it's more like, she's jst not that into u...

this past weekend, a couple of things happened. not necessarily in my life, but more in the life of my friends. the people that i hang out with quite a bit. their story compelled me to write this. i found things that they told me quite interesting. in writing this, i had to create a couple of different character, well...more like initials; this is off course to protect the identity of my friends. btw, this is not a story of its own, but i jst thought it's pretty interesting to write, since some of it kind of similar to a movie.
first there was c. c used to like o, but then o liked s. h thought o would date s, but that didn't happen. so, while h's principle and thought that since o was probably going to date s, c decided to move on. but, after finding out that o was not going to date s, therefore c still had some thoughts about o. on the other hand, c sometimes introduced people that c liked to others, which could end up that person date the person c introduced, or u can say, more like set them up, as they say it. while at the same time, c liked some other person in c surroundings. so, in this case, c actually liked two different person at the same time unintentionally. oh well.....interesting rite?
this was like c was into o and then o was into s, therefore c was not into o, and that resulted c to be into a different person. but then, o was not into s. so now, c was into both o and another one.
then, there was v. v jst had a rough patch in life. so many things happened in v's life that v is still recovering from all that. v was progressing, but taking things slow, especially in the relationship department. v had shown some improvements. the conditions and the improvement that v had to show would be culminated by the event that v had to face and overcome; soon.....
so, as much as v into something/somebody, v jst needed to straight things up in v's life, so that v can b into somebody, and for somebody to be into v.
and then, there was also t. t had started dating this person for a little while. but the person that t was dating had not been foreword of the intentions. moreover, t had not been affected by any of it, which i personally think, that's pretty good. in this case, i think t and the other person was quite into each other. so, that's good.
t had a close friend p that is being set up, well....maybe not set up, but more like there was a person that was into p. but yet, p was not into the other person. i had not met this person, but from the info that i got from people surrounding p; this person was quite into p.
next, we had m. m was into one person. but, due to not so good situation and condition that m was facing, m ended up not wanting to into anybody. altho, i thought personally, m was still into that person.
hahhaa.....lol......
u know, all those stories made think about myself. about what had happened in my life. seemed like everything and everybody is talking and thinking about who and what they are into. what is the reasoning behind all that, God? is it something for me as a human being to learn to differentiate? is it something that i had to learn in regards to love? it sounded difficult, but yet, i think it's just the dynamic of life. u know, without that dynamic, man....life would dfntly b boring. as much drama as it sounded, it is indeed the responsibility of a human being to pray and hope in GOD. as much as u/me into somebody and/or something, i still had to ask GOD for it and about it. is that person/that thing would b good for me? for the future? for the long haul? or is it just some temporary sensation?...

讀書

since i was a kid, i was never really much of a writer, let a long a reader. i never had a moment in my adolescent life, that i can remember, that there was a time when i really like to read books. back then, it was kind of hard for my parent to make me study and read a book. i always wanted to play. play anything; anything but play with books. but then after about high school, i started to pick up some books, especially during the time when i started to learn different languages. until recently, it would take me a long, long, long, long....long time to finish reading any book. sometimes, i even consider myself a slow reader; altho, there were times i actually found somebody that read slower than me.
my brother always suggested many different kind of books to read. some, i actually found them and read them, but sometimes, i didn't finish it. but recently, well...about 2-3months ago, to be close to exact, he gave a book to read. and guess what? i almost finish. yeach...that surprised me too. the book, as many said that it is an easy read, i found it interesting in the sense of the content that made me wanted to find out more and more about this book and its conclusion. at the same time, this book, so far, had me think more about me. not just what i have become, but also, about my cultural background, about where i am right now physically, mentally, about my character, about who i really am. i found that very funny and challenging at the same time. it opened my mind to more things for me to want to explore, gain, research, etc.
btw, i'm not here to give any kind of book review, so i'm not going to write anything specific abt the book.
so, yeach, anyways, reading is indeed 'fun'-damental. something that i never thought i would say to myself. just can't believe that my brother actually the one that help me realize that. and oh, btw, he is older than me, so i definitely don't feel bad at all.
God bless....

一会后

after a long absent from here and not writing anything, here i am again trying to be active. so far, my life still had been filled with so much stories and adventure, at work, at most time, that is. and also my reading and writing mode is back on. so here we go....keep staying tuned here....

kc

another trip, another adventure. short trip tho. after having been arrived from the long trip for about less than a week ago; with some days filled with work, i was off to kc. a city that i had never been before. purpose of the trip, well....i was being used as an excuse by y for y 2 b able 2 visit one of y's cousin and aunt's family. y had been waiting to visit her for a while, but never got a chance. and, the aunt specifically said that y had to bring me along to get permission to come to kc. and so, here i was in kc. interesting place. in one way, it's different to where i am now, but yet, on the other, it's somewhat similar.
after having to ride on an early flight, i finally arrived in kc at around 10am. once arrived, i thought i was jst going to y's aunt place, but guess not. y picked me up and we went for lunch, in a city and place that we kind of not too familiar with. after going around the city downtown, we finally got to y's aunt's place.
i spent about three days in the area. got a chance to talk with people that i had met before. i met a-l, u-d, r and c. went to certain nice areas of the city. but out of all that, that was not really why i was in kc. in the beginning, i thought the trip was only to fulfill some ones' wishes, or jst b a 'permit'. but at the end of the trip, i came away with more. i went away with knowing person(s) that has certain limitation would keep pushing the limit. never to give up; never to feel sorry about his/her current, or past conditions. God used a-l to show me more. to showed me that being in certain condition is not suppose to limit u to a certain conditions/situations. a-l seemed to always able to be cheerfull; b encouraging, b supportive, b unregretfull, and not b sorry of oneself at all. it is the will that a-l showed. the will to want to do something. the will to get something. to reach for something, regardless of ur past or whether ur current condition is limited. a-l always talk abt the next thing a-l get to do; the next thing that a-l wanted to do.
besides that, i was also able to something that i had never done to anybody. i said and told y something that i had never told anyone before. i hv never done and/or said that to anybody. at the same time, y also said something to me that y never said to me. at least thta's how i feel. i do feel special tho.
all in all, i am glad and happy i said and told those things to y; altho at the same time, i am indeed scared, but yet, i trust GOD and surrender eveything to Him. also, i am glad that i was able to hear what y told and said to me, i sure hope y is glad and happy to hear what i had said and told her. i sure hope y is also glad and happy to say things to me.
at the end, i guess it was a memorable trip. no, it was a memorable 'adventure' with y.

third destination

after having been spent time with my bro after a while in the country that he lived with his wife and kid; and oh btw, they're expecting again; i realized a lot of new and old things.
a couple of notes of where my bro lives. it is hot and steamy. with lots and lots of people walking around the area. pretty much everywhere u go, u jst need to walk. kind of like new york city, including the subway, but the subway at where he lives is definitely much better than new york.
for the past week, i had a chance to go to places that i never been to. i met people that i had not met for a long while.
a note about the old stuffs that i realized about me and my family is the reason that i was fat. i got a chance to talk with my bro quite a bit. and not only him, but also, with his wife and kid. a lot had changed within my bro. change 4 the better, off course. like some of my friends said, having kid will definitely change u; all i can comment about that is, no comment.
i also got a chance to meet my mom's younger bro. probably one of the relatives from my mom side that i was kind of close. he is probably the one person from my mom side that can really talk to me freely in comparison to my bro and sis. i was really really glad to be able to see him and his wife. he reminded me of my grandpa from my mom. this actually also remided me that i never really have that role model in my life. i was never really close to any grandpas from any side of my family (mom/dad).
we actually went to the ashes burial site of my 'a kung'. after seeing the block with his picture on it give me great flashback of the time that i was able to spend with him. it was fun time. i realized that i actually learnt a lot from him, either from him directly back then (about 25years ago), or thru my mom.
i also went to one of the theme park with my mom. it was one of the oldest theme park in asia i would say. and guess what? it was my first ever visit, while it was probably already my mom's 5th time, maybe?! oh well....
overall, my visit on this third destination was definitely much better than i expected. better in the sense of having the opportunities to spend time with people that i won't get to many times; also, with the people that i had not been in contact, but yet, i was able to reflect and catch a glimpse of things in the past that made me who i am today, and even thru the future.
all in all, i thank GOD for giving me the opportunity to travel to this place. it was dfntly and pleasantly surprisingly great. will dfntly find time to return.

impression of first destination

it was a great experience. it was really nice to be able to see the places and people the y's grew up at and with. got a chance to see some old pix. as not so much time as the ability to spend with y, i guessed all i can say that i enjoy the time i was there. the first destination trip was not at all about me, or even about y. i understood my role was a support role for her in anyways that i could. other than that, the informal interview session were ok. i thought i managed and handled it very well. all in all, it was a good trip. thank GOD for everything that i was able to experience and also for the blessings that i received thruout the days i was there. off to second destination.

leaving for the next destination

it was sunday. as always, they would go to church, so i definitely went along. the service was nice. the church was called victory. the preacher was pretty cool and the message was simple and direct. he talked about how GOD wanted everyone to follow HIM so that everyone can live prosperous. afterwards, i went along to eat at brazillian bbq place, which i think that got me the sore throat. but oh well.....it was good. then, i went to y's parent's place. hung out a little bit there, which i wasn't sure why i got drop there, since i needed to pack to go 'home'. after playing around with some of y's nieces and nephews, and the newlywed got there, they decided to take me back to y's sister's place. by that time, it was quite afternoon. not sure whether i was me, or y, or maybe something else. i was probably a little upset since i had to wait jst to get back to pack. but, in this case, i guessed i had no say. so i tried to go along, which at one part was probably my fault. i shld'v said something, which i thought i did, but oh well.
as soon as i got back to place, i started to pack and jst as i thought my laundry was not dry, since it had been raining in the area for days. as much as i was upset about that, but i guessed nothing i could do, say, and/or even blame anything and/or anybody but me. oh well.....still....not sure why i was a little upset. maybe it was also compunded to the fact that i didn't really got a chance to spend time with y. then again, it was expected, oh welll.....i really really don't know what to say, or even think at the time, so i was jst quiet. i didn't want to yell, or say something that could be hurting to anybody, especially y. then, say goodbye to some of y's relatives and also the parent, then off to airport. i wanted to say something to y, but y seemed to be really really in a hurry and jst wanted to get away and go. so, i jst hug, kiss, and say goodbye. this line could probably make u a little upset, but jst had to write it, especially about the day i was having. oh well......let me know what u think when u got a chance.

nite time celebration with some after party

so, now i was in stu's wedding. the celebration started with pictures taken with the family and close friends at the stu's parent's place. then, we are off to the ceremony and reception place. nice place. it's called the glass garden. the place was great that they were able to combine the ceremony and the reception in one place. they started quite on time. i probably won't describe it in here, since i was just a guess and observance. all i can say is it was different. not your typical wedding. it was great tho. it was diffrerent in the sense of the way they do the ceremony. the placement of the bride and groom. the placement of the parents and other close relatives. i guessed what i was trying to say, not the usual way that i had experienced in the past. not that it meant i was in one already. i had always been a guess. then again, i had not been to too many weddings, oh well...
then, along the way i was introduced to more of y's relatives and friends. yeach, like i can remember any of them now. i'd b thankful if i could name about five of them. and yet again, i was put in the position of being in informal interview session. not sure what number was that, oh well...i'm sure i lost count.
one surprise side note, i was introduced publicly on the pa. man.....that was really something. felt like i was in the spotlite, which i thought the bride and groom shld b the one that was in the spotlite. oh well....the food was fine. it had many different kind of stuffs in many different kind of places, but yet i thought people were jst concentrating in the buffett. other than that, for me it was great. taste good. good coffee, good desert, pasta, rice, beef, chicken, and pork. nice hors d'evre.
overall, all in all, i personally thought everything went well and it was a great event in a very nice venue.
afterwards, the brother, the sister and some of the relatives were talking about an after party. so, after i got the place where i was staying, i started to kind of prepare to go to bed until suddenly the sister's husband knocked on the room's door and told me to change because everybody is going out for an after party. so, yeach.....ride on.
we went to a place called 'spicy fingers'. nice place. kind of like the old hard rock in bali that i went when i was in high school. we had some snack foods and drink. the band was good. then, we went home around 1.30. oh well....that's why they called it an after party.

another day being used

so after having done so many things that is not training related for so many days since pelotonia, i finally back to it. not fully tho. me and y decided to run this morning. altho we weren't sure since it had been raining in the area for days, so we thought we just played it by ear. so, i woke earlier than y and ask whether we still running and it turned out, not only did y want to run with me, but the brother stvi also awanted to bike with me. so, well, i guessed i just realized that i'm about to be used by the family.
first we jog around the neighborhood of y's parent's place. five minutes into the run, i thought well...this should be bearable considering there were some sprinkle, so i thought it would help, but....well....was i wrong. the humidity and the heat started to make me a little out of breath, but yet i was able to manage it. so we ran for abt half an hour, which is about 5k, not bad. considering the climate, heat, and humidity. altho onw side note, thank GOD for the rain to clear up some of the smog. by the time we got back, we are drenched and guess what stvi already waiting for the bike session. i rested a little bit with some shower, gatorade, and a philipine own energy drink called cobra. oh my goodness, so sweet and as much as it didn't say on the bottle they put lots of sugar, yet it tasted like the whole bottle filled with sugar.
now, off to the bike with stvi. first, i was just following stvi around since i didn't know the area too well at well. we go round and round in the complex for about half an hour which was abt 10k. then, i decided to go another round finding out different route around the area, in which i think i ended up with another 10k, which is another half hour.
impression that i got; the complex of the area where the parent live was nice. some certain inner side was quite, but some other areas were quite crowded. for some other bikers/joggers that is not used to the aggressiveness of people, especially the ones on the cars, or motocycles, i would not recommend riding around. helmet is definitely a requirement, as much as i think it is not a law, but i would definitely use them. as much as there were some joggers lane, the drivers (as much normal as in se asia) were always agressive; no such things as give ways. giving signs were definitely not as useful, but yet, it did help.
as for the bike that used, it was stvi's friend. it was a bianchi. not bad at all. i liked it, altho it is pure heavy road bike. not very heavy tho. it helped when u could use the look pedal with the proper bike shoe, which surprisingly fit me perfectly, what were the odds?!
all on all, the morning and daytime went well. got a chance to experience some of the real hot and humid climate weather. pretty good place to train for hawaii, but not so much heat of the sun, as what in kona usually people felt.
after all that, i talked a bit with the other brother stu, in which that nite was his wedding day.

interesting side note

met this guy, not sure whether he's a family friend of y, or something, not sure. but apparently, he has gifts from GOD for healing and prophecy. he did some healing ministry to some certain people. and yes, i do believe in things like that. i believe that GOD is still working and moving, especially in this modern times thru HIS minister. so thruout the nite, i was talking a little bit with mike (which is his name, btw), and he said he had some words for me. so, we prayed and he shared the word to me, which i actually do believe that the word he shared was indeed from GOD. the words were definitely an encouragement and confirmation for me. at the same time, it is definitely something that i do still need to work on and pray about it. i'll share about those later, but jst wanted to make a note that i do believe that the words were indeed for me from GOD.

next day

alrighty after getting some rest, i was finally up for the day ahead. not sure where i'll b going, what i'll b doing, or even what 2 think. in a way, i kind of felt like somebody had my schedule for the day. i was up around 6am. not knowing, or even sure what's up, jst stayed in the room trying to catch up with my blog writing. after a while, decided to walk downstair to check things out, guess what? some breakfast was prepared, yeach.....according to the host, which is y's sister's husband, that is the typical breakfast; which consist of rice, poached-egg, and corned beef. for me, yeach.....bring it on...i'll eat anything. in between breakfast, talked with peter, uncle larry, and autie freya. here we go, first round of 'interviews'. hahahhaaa.....j/k..........not too bad, jst normal q&a. no big deal. no surprise. quite a bit of expected stuffs. then off to get ready for the day. got to y's parent's place around 8, or maybe 9. another round of interviews, hehehehehe.............tallked a bit with stu and steve around the breakfast table while waiting for y. then, we (me, stu, and y) are off to go around the city for some sightseeing. first impression of the city, oh yeach...jst like home. with traffic, weather, people, surroundings, streets, roads, houses, etc. felt like i'm home already. stu and i got some lunch in mall called landmark (hopefully that spells rite). we had some bk, oh well....some american stuff, but i had rice. hahhaaha.........along the way, got a chance to talk to stu about all the stuffs that he went thru until now; in terms of preparation, things that he's doing, planning, past, future, family things, etc.
after a while having to go round and round the many different cities and suburbs of the area, we got back to yl's place around 5-ish in the afternoon. i thought i was done for the day, but guess what? hv to prepare again for more festivities at nite. obviously, there are some b'day celebration for auntie dinah and uncle larry at y's parent's place. great gathering, great food, great people. so here we go interview session #1673.....hahahah...........j/k......got a chance to meet a lot more new people of y's relatives. ok let's see if i can remember; auntie bessy, auntie francis, uncle phillip, bro mike, evi (steve's wife), kids of the brother and sisters of y, omg, i guess that's all i can really remember. i did remember that some of the people that i met are parent of the people that i met earlier in the year thruout the year. oh well....sorry, y'all...
ok, so, here are some of the dish that i had at the party, that i can remember in terms of name. i had some kare-kare, ribs, salmon (three kind of them, cooked differently), black rice with squid, bbq chicken, empenada, rambutan, sticky rice, mango, and u know what, well...that is all i can remember. oh well....
so thruout the nite, basically, i talked to many different kind of people, about many different kind of stuffs, u know, some basic questions in family interview informal session. all in all, i think all the things that i went thru for the nite was understandable. i didn't mind, didn't really have any problem with any of it. i was up for it, no complaint, i was just trying to enjoy the surroundings. at the same time, i really thought everybody were making things quite not as hard for me. like stu said earlier in the day, obviously, i jst remembered that i did get some training during my much younger days back home. just remember that i was the kid that always went around with my mom and dad meeting all kinds of relative all over the place. i was the kid that went with my parent to many event to meet people. so yeach, i did get some training in terms of how to relate and communicate with people. it was a gift that GOD gave me and it something that HE helped me developed thruout my life.

vacation 2009 - first destination

finally, i'm having a vacation time. new journey, new 'teritory', new destination. interesting destination. first stop, chicago, where i would meet my friend y. then, continue on to japan, which is the longest plane ride of the trip. got to eat many different kind of stuffs (japanese rice dishes, japanese rice crackers and snacks, pasta, etc), saw many movies (5, or 6 maybe; i saw the proposal, terminator salvation, night at the museum 2, wolverine, angels and demons, and fast and furious). from japan, with a little delay, the trip continue on to the first destination. so, after about 24hr on the road, in the air, and somewhere else in the globe, i finally reached the first destination of the vacation. it was manila, philipines. never been here, so like i said, interesting. first impression, it is similar to where i came from, which is jakarta, indonesia. we arrived around 10pm, then went to y's family's place in makati, which is not the place where i'll be staying. as soon as we got there, as most asian tradition, we were told to eat. ate traditional chinese dish for birthday (misua; a noodle dish), since there was somebody's b'day. got to meet some people in y's family. meet the brothers (stu and steven), the sister (yvette), the aunts (dinah), the uncle (ben), and the cousins (jon b). after the late supper and soem chit chat, i was delivered to the actual place where i'll be staying, which is y's other sister (ylaine)'s place. got to the place close to midnite. had some chit chat, then well.....i was about ready to take a shower and sleep, which i did. so, ttyl.

quotes

along the past two months that i had enjoyed in my life, even tho i was not able to write a lot, i picked up a lot from things that i had seen, heard, tasted, smelled, and felt. but for now, i'd liked to talked about things that i heard. i like quotes. i like picking up things that i heard along the way, whether it is something that some one said, or maybe even something that someone read from something, especially the bible. here are the list of things;

1. God is asking for what we have, not what we don't have
this was from one of my friends in group, thanx mp

for me, this quote give me a sense of wanting to do something more than what i had done; something bigger than me, bigger than what i had done, bigger than my life, bigger than my training, bigger than my races, and even bigger than my work in the office

2. slipstream
staying behind Jesus Christ; staying within the peloton; letting the
front(JC) take all the pressure and do most of the work - this was from
one of the speaker in JH from the africa team

this thing is more like a term for me to always remember that GOD is always in front us taking care of things for us. yet, we should definitely stay within HIM

3. speak to GOD about people first before speaking to people about GOD
this was from the senior pastor of the church that i go to

this quote reminded me to always pray for the 'lost' ones, including those that are my family members and relatives

4. we are called to work with GOD, not necessarily for GOD
i forgot where this came from, but i think it is also from one of my
friend in group, while she was in the summer camp thing

for me, this quote made me realized and reminded that GOD is always the one that will help us in anything that we are facing. since HE also promises thru the bible that HE will send us a helper for us

5. perseverance changes us
i think this was from the senior pastor of the church

this quote hit me on the spot, as i remember that GOD helped me with the perseverance of my training that i'm not that fat anymore....

images

here are some of the things that i saw, eat and enjoy along the road and time while i was not here....




see if you can figure what is that above.......

o my goodness........

life is indeed always interested. that’s what I always encountered, so far in my life. it will throw u everything that u r expected and at the same time it will definitely throw u things that are unexpected. i have been fortunate and blessed to be given the abilities to handle those; whether it is in the form of patience, mental ability, or even the physical abilities.
after having been 'imprisoned' in the office that i worked, today is actually one of the days that i can be a little bit relaxed. things in the office are not as hectic, therefore i have a little time to reminiscence of what just happened for the past two months.....my goodness....
here is the somewhat quick rundown;
i worked for about 12 hours in day for many many days of the weeks; been traveling on my car for about 4000miles that my car finally reach 100k miles (yeach.....wow...that actually is a milestone for me); got soaked by rain during bike ride many many times; meet so many many different kind of people from many different kind of continent in the world; learned new languages; learned new cultures; learned to dance; learned a lot of new stuffs at the office about engineering, constructions, etc, work stuffs (not going to bother u much); and i'm sure there are others that i can't think of rite now....but guess what?
out of all that, i felt pretty good and amazed at myself and.....about being a part of GOD's plan and/or just being able to be with HIM. at the same time, i did feel that i was kind of prepare for all of those that i was facing.
how come?
about two months ago, i had someone told me that GOD is strengthening me rite now. so, thanks to GOD and thanks to that person from church.

after a while...sigh...

today, i write with a little feeling of concern. not about anything that i'm doing, but it relates to what just happen in my country. after many years had passed and things seem to be getting better. another thing happen back home. blasts; not very far from where my parent lived. it was the second time in the same place. as i read thru the news on the internet and watch some of the news, i realized, well...we, as a human being, i guess in this case, for me, as an indirect part of the 'victims', can only do so much. yet, i prayed to GOD to protect and take care the family and relatives that was affected by it directly. thank GOD for always taking care and protecting my family....merdeka...........Tuhan berkati....

inspiration songs

This past month, GOD managed to make me learn about many other stuffs. These ones are from songs. The first song is from lanae hale, called back and forth; go look for it in itunes. Here is part of the lyrics from the song that made me think;

‘…Back and forth, the waves keep crashing
Hold on, my head, I keep on sinking
I need your hand to steady me
To bring your peace to this storm…’

The song first made me think about the race that I did last may in florida; especially on the swim. That is exactly how I felt. I kept on sinking in the swim portion of the race, that I need somebody, and/or something to steady me. but then, after thinking about it even more; I realized that most of the time, we, as a human being, are like that. We always need God to steady us; just like the disciples when they were with JC in the boat when they cross the river. There was storm. They were scared that they would drown and die; that they woke JC up. And, as soon as JC ‘yelled’ at the storm; the wind and the storm died down and everything just became calm. this lead us to a must to cling to HIM even more. and, that’s what the other song about. It is from tim hughes, (feat. Brooke fraser), called clinging to the cross. Here are some of the lyrics;

‘…Simply to the cross i cling
Letting go of all earthly things
Clinging to the cross
Mercy’s found a way for me
Hope is here as i am free
Jesus, You are all i need
Clinging to the cross…’

We, as human beings, created by GOD , definitely need to cling more to the cross. To HIM. It’s not easy and it probably won’t; but yet, with HIM, everything is bearable and nothing is impossible.

sigh...whew.....

Life is indeed always interesting. Lots of things had happened in the past month, that made me not even got a chance to write here. It’s work, training, and racing. But for the most, it’s work, work, work and stuck, stuck, stuck at the office. So far, so good. Even, at work, there are things that I was able to learn. Dealing with people, taking care of things, etc. but, one of the most unexpected things, well…..at least for me, is that I suddenly feel that GOD wants me to learn more about more patience. Sigh…..oh well…..i am HIS creation. He is the one that knows everything about me. about what I need and not need.

My friend managed to make me talk about those things. I am really glad that I have a friend like that person. Thanx a bunch………thank GOD for u…………

This past week, as I was talking to my friend and thinking about what that friend said about certain thing, I realized about something. A lot of people said when they are in certain situation, ‘…oh, I can just feel God in the background on the things that I’m doing…’ I, personally, do not agree with that. I always thought God is always in front of us. God is not the background, we are. As HIS creation, we are the background of HIS masterpiece. He is always in front of us, paving the way for us. Taking care of things for us. Is it automatic? Yes and no. this is the part, where we, as HIS creation need to pray; talk to HIM.
This is probably the same understanding that people thought of about the bumper sticker, ‘…Jesus is my co-pilot…’ really? I thought JC should be the pilot. We are the co-pilot. When we gave our live to HIM, He should be in control, not us. This is why I think a lot of people struggle to surrender. Because they thought it’s their life. Yes, we should take care of it, but yet it’s not ours. It is HIS.

shades...

last week, i stopped by my friend's church group. it is always interesting, pretty cool and nice to take part in that group. they do a lot of discussion and study of the bible verse. I like it in the sense that they go into depth in discussing about the verses. it gives everybody a chance to digest and really really meditate the verses. makes u think about certain things. It makes u think differently about certain things that u might have done and/or thought about in the past.
one of the girl (em) from the group during discussion made a funny face, well….not really a funny face, but I guess it was because what I said and thought that she made a face that showed, ‘….wow…..yeach…..eureka….’ which I guess for me it definitely was funny, in a good way…….hope I didn’t make her feel bad……and besides, she reminded of a verse about the past and possibly the condition that could be during the race in gct. it is from isa 25:4; '...a shade from the heat...' oh yeach, i definitely need a lot of shades from the heat down south during the race. i really do thank GOD for her to bless me by reminding me; reminding me to always seek a shade in HIM for HE is always available to give anything that we need.

fears and failures

this past week at church, i was again reminded that, as a human being, regardless of our past and current condition, GOD is always on our side. i always have fears and failures. fears of being a failures. fears fof the thing that i'm doping is not good enough; whether it is for me, whether it is for my family, my parent, my brother, my sister, my friends, my co-workers, etc. in some ways, i think people would think that it's normal, but yet, is it really? is it really normal? is it really something normal for christians to have that feelings? did Jesus have that feelings while He was here?
it is indeed true that GOD is always with us. HE will always comfort us. HE will always take care of us. i, personally, never really want to have that feelings, but yet, there is always something around us that could make us feel that way. whether it is a person, a situation, an event, or anything. many times, it will definitely bother u, well...at least it is for me. is there anything that u can do? any suggestions? what did HE do? what's the reason for HIM to let us have that feelings?
from the bible, i do learn that GOD had fears. HE feared during the time when HE was about to be crucified. but, is it the same feeling tho? how did he deal with it? one of the ways is pray. many times when i had that feeling, i would pray and surrender all my fears and failures to HIM. is it the only way then? any other ways?

relieve

So after about a month not doing any writing, or posting, since I was so stucked, swamped and buried under the work that I had to do at the office. I finally felt a little relieve. It is now good Friday, well…..guess what? This is indeed a good Friday.
Work is definitely lighter and I can do some posting now. And yes, a lot had happened in the past month. Other than work had been so quite unbelievable; I was able to get to know certain characters of people in and out of the office. Not bad?! But, interesting. I learned a lot more in dealing with certain types of people. And yet, I think it’s good, because I think that’s how GOD intended in terms of creating humanbeings. I managed to know more about certain persons’ behavior towards certain things; certain ideas. Some people can handle certain things in different ways. Some can tag along with the rides, others just cannot deal with it, oh well…..i guess that’s why people could get disappointed.
Besides that, I had a little bit of a back problems. That got fixed with a help of my best friend. Thank GOD for that friend and thank u, friend. This friend can definitely crack ur back; literally. So, try not to mess with my best friend, or else…..well…..u’ll find out.
Anyways, other than that, this past month had been another time filled with things to learn. I do thank GOD for managing my time to allow me to learn new things everyday; whether it be about work in the office, about life, about training, about the sports that I’m doing, about people, etc. those lessons are indeed very valuable and surprising. Never get tired of life. As much things that u had to do in one day, or one month, still HE is always there for u. but u gotta ask tho. Communicate to HIM thru prayers.
Oh yeach, btw, out of that one month full of sort of like a chaos, I actually managed to get a ticket. Unbelievable, oh well…..
Still, be thankful tho. It’s a reminder from HIM. And yet, still, can’t imagine life without U.

revelation; better and greater understanding; called out; 'bride and groom'

so after reading this book by marc estes, called; 'what now', here is what i found out about myself realizing even more. many people are saying that JC and the church are like bride and groom. JC always refer the church as the bride. bride and groom, before they were b/f and g/f as we, people nowadays, are calling. i never fully understand that concept very very clearly, but now after reading the book. eureka, i think and i hope i'm getting it.

as people start dating, that's the time when they get to know each other. they spend time together, they wan to. they either go out, or stay in one of the person's place. maybe they do a cook in, watch movie, play games (board and/or card). this is the time when JC was also refering. when u'r dating someone, u go to the other person's place, or maybe the other person come to ur place. in general, when u got to someone's place, they would invite u into their place when u knock on the door. in the culture of where i came from, especially for me, u would wait until u r invited to come in, and also wait until u r invited to sit, or whatever the case, since it is not ur place. u can't do anything as u wish, as much as the other person would say, '...make urself at home...' still u should respect the owner of the place. some people nowadays when they go to certain people's place, they just barge in. without saying anything, not even, '...excuse me..., may i...'

this is exactly the same as with JC. He wants to spend time with us. He wants to come to ur place (heart). He always knocks on the door of ur heart. He would never barge in to ur place (heart) without ur permission. this is the meaning of the saying that people always use, '...hv u invite HIM into ur life, ur heart...'

have u?

He wants us to invite HIM into our place (our heart, our life). He wants so passionately spend time with u. He wants to talk to u. He wants us to talk to HIM. He wants to hear our complain. He wants to listen to our confession. He wants to be with u.

do u?

the groom (JC) is always the one waiting on the altar, not the bride (u, me, us, the church), rite? but yet, it is always the groom that called first. when u'r dating, especially when u'r a guy, u should call the girl first, well...,technically. not the girl call first. well, guess what? JC had been calling u for some time, hv u answered?

we r all called by HIM. that's why the word church itself means, 'the called out ones'.

Hesus ay buhay magpakailan man....

felt a lot better

so, after the past days episode that I had, I finally feel better now. a couple of my friends started calling, text messaging and asking me about what had happened. even some of co-workers was kind of trying to keep distance from me, but now I think it’s a little settle, man……I guess I was really having a not so good days at all, huh? Oh well…..
and, after talking with a couple of my friends and explaining about what had happened, I think I’m pretty ok now. as I said to one of my co-workers, I’m trying to calm myself this week; try to balance; try to center myself. In other words, I guess, u can say I am trying to draw closer to GOD this week, not because I was not close before, but I think with ash wednesday just passed and the lent is on going; I am reminded to always have to try be close to HIM. draw myself to HIM.
in one way, I was actually on track on doing it with help of my friend. my friend sent me a link to a preaching from the web. the title is ‘one life to live’ by joey bonifacio.
pretty interesting, and not too long, I was able to listen to it while I biked on my trainer. good insight and as for me, it was confirming and reminding. I was reminded to always live life to the fullest/max. I was reminded to always fear HIM; not fear HIM in the sense of fear of getting spank. It was confirming that in the life that u live, live it to the fullest, for tomorrow may/may not come. live today so that if tomorrow does not come, u won’t regret anything. Just like one of my friends write in her facebook page -> ‘…if what u did yesterday looks good, then u haven’t done much today…’
all in all, thank GOD for everything that U had done, are doing, and will be doing in my life……God bless 2 u all that read this……

kind of crazy week...

oh my goodness, thank God that it is now weekend. and, i can finally do something that i probably should be doing for the past few weeks ago. i was able to rest.
this week had been going on very very weird. the week started great with a surprise morning visit from my friend (as to this is never happen to me, especially at 7 o'clock in the morning); then in mid week, the day got a little bit sucky, but yet i got some help with the uplifting spirit from HIM thru worship. then, all of the sudden, it all went a little downhill from there. i felt so tired and quite so bad, especially with the way i treated this special friend. sorry....i probably owe this person an apology and an explanation. but here is how i felt; i felt like i could hardly breathe and every time i tried to put some air into my lungs, i had to take a very deep breathe and sometime i think it even sounded like i was stressed, or maybe feeling agitated. i didn't think so. i guess what my supervisor said in the e-mail last friday nite; '...i think u need to go home now...' was rite; as my friend agreed.
i was totally busy at work, don't get me wrong, not that i'm complaining, but indeed thankful to God for all these. it just that i have not been this busy ever in my work life. so much stuffs that i need to do. so many projects that i'm working on. can't believe that i'm actually working on 4 projects all at once. thank GOD for giving me the abilities to differentiate between one project need to another.
so, this morning, i went to the team workout, guess what? my hr went up to the roof and it was an ez recovery workout. can't believe it. well...i guess that's one of the things about being tired. and actually i just remember vividly that this might be the condition that i was last year when i had my crash. i was tired, and yet i was not feeling ok either. i was not hydrating enough, did not drink enough, especially water. but yet, i was not thirsty; not sure whether i was so busy that i cannot even remember to drink anything, or whatever not sure.
and, after workout, i finally was able to just rest. i sat and laid on my couch for 2 hours; doing nothing. well....watch tv. altho i was not watching anything in particular, but somehow i just realize that i actually keep track of the amount of time that i watch tv and rest. oh my goodness......can't believe that i actually did that; that was the first.
now, i actually feel better. i am able to kind of breathe a little easier, altho still on occasion, a little hard and need the deep breathe, but u know what? this whole week, i had been reminded with the verse from Mat 28:11; '...come to ME all who are weary and tired, for I will give u rest...' and now, another verse is reminded to me; not sure where the exact verse is, but it said like this, '...be still and know that I am GOD...'
thank u LORD and GOD bless to all who read this.....thanx....

words for 2009

these are the words that i found in the beginning of 2009 that i felt really really hit me. really really give me a revelation for this year. this one, i heard it about a couple of weeks ago and i think this applies to me in so many ways. for training, for races, for work, and for everyday life in general.

faith is trust in Christ sufficient to provoke obedience to Christ and to receive benefits

what does having faith do?

faith battles temptation

for about a month, i had been in fasting mode. somehow this year, almost everybody that i met started the year with fasting; which i think it's great. knowing that the people surrounding also doing something somewhat similar to what u'r doing. during this fasting period, those words up there really really struck me. it gives me a new perspective about faith. for the longest time, i thought some certain things that i had been doing is rite. well.....not entirely. those things that i did might be not wrong, but it gave me a different meaning and perspective about the things that i'm doing.
this fasting period really really give me a new meaning of fasting. a new meaning of needing to have more faith in HIM. does it mean i lack faith? maybe; maybe not.
in the beginning of this year, as i said in my blog previously, somehow, i felt GOD wants me to have more faith in HIM. to trust HIM even more. to have belief more in HIM that what i think i can do.
well, guess what? i think i'm learning that rite now. and, somehow, i felt that there are people surrounding me that pray for me about this specifically. from the closest one, to the casual ones, to even the ones that i just knew.
the fasting period taught me to trust in HIM more and more everyday, that i actually felt provoke to be obedience to GOD. and each day, at the end of the fasting days, i actually felt that i'm receiving benefits. one of them surprisingly, i felt my training have become more effective. at the same time, i felt that i can battle temptation better than ever. so.....out of all that....thank u, GOD....

tripix

pics from trip...













thanx a bunch to my friend (y), that i went to the trip with...for everything....u made the trip so great, memorable, wonderful, and definitely worth the time, especially going with u....God bless....

last day – traveling back to ‘reality’….

the fly back to ‘reality’ the next morning was 6am. originally, my plan is to just stay up all nite, and go to the airport early. but, with the suggestion of my friend’s auntie and uncle, i finally submitted to take a short nap. boy…that was short. it was probably the short nite sleep i’d ever done. but, afterward, in the morning, i was actually glad that i took their suggestion. so, again, thank u auntie d and uncle m. i would’ve felt worse if I had not taken the nap. and, i think that short nap kind of resulted in me forgetting my wallet in the rental car. and, that caused me to run around in the morning, in which i definitely not planning to do, but oh well….thank GOD for always taking of me. i was able to get my wallet back pretty easily and not too long.
the plane ride was quite pleasant. i was able to get some more rest in the plane. got something to eat and got to talk more with my friend. the only glitch of the travel back was the 1.5hr delay that we had in one southern city, in which it was a foggy day. other than that, all in all, everything went ok.
we got a chance to talk a lot about many things. i even got a chance to ‘evaluate’ the whole vacation and even got evaluated, hhahahaha……what?……j/k…….
all in all, i am really really glad that i decided to go along on this vacation with this friend. it was nice, great, wonderful, lots of excitement, lots of unexpected, lots of getting to know and to be known, met lots and lots of new, different, and interesting people, and some more. i also actually learned more about certain things during this vacation. i felt like GOD was putting me in certain situations, that challenged me in a good different ways. i was unexpectedly glad that i was challenged during this whole week. it’s definitely something that i can use as one of my goals for this new year 2009. the trip resulted a creation of challenges for me to expand even a lot more than i thought i was going to expand for the new year. so, out of all, thank u, GOD for everything. thanx 2 my friend, thank u, GOD for my friend and the whole relatives and families that i met throughout the week all over the state (sorry, if I forgot all ur names at someday i met u all again). GOD bless u all…..

day 5 part 2 - views of the north...reminiscence...

after the run, i took a shower to get ready to go places. we went to eat at a vietnamese place. i guess it's one of my friend's favorite place. then again, i kind of understand, since we don't really have any good vietnamese place from where we were. we went to lunch with one of my friend's auntie's son and the g/f. food was good and i was able to eat something different from what i had while i was in the south last monday. after lunch we went to get coffee, this time it's pete's coffee. a little different, good different tho. it was my first time. interesting. before i tried this coffee, i thought the one coffee that is better than starbucks' was coffee bean & tea leaf. but after pete's, hm....i think i found another one that is better than starbucks.
after coffee, we went a little bit south for some sightseeing. first stop was bay bridge at day time. since we need to go through the bridge to get to where we actually wanted to go. so yes, i count that in. then the piers. after that, we got to the place where i started my adventure life. the shore that leads me from the swim race that i did in 2006.
very very memorable, definitely give me inspiration, and hopefully i also gave impact and inspiration to the people i talked to about the race. the place was definitely one of the places that pushed me to do more, to go beyond what i can do, to explore, to not be afraid to have adventure in life, to go to the areas of unknown, and to have faith more....in HIM....
from there, we went along the shore of the pacific to go around and look for great views of the area and took some pix. will definitely try to get some pix here l8r on….
then, we continued on to passing another bridge to get to another sightseeing place, which i never been to; so hey…a place that i never been to in west coast. and yes, it was definitely worth the drive. nice view, perfect weather. we went around the area. walk around the houses. took pix. until about probably around 5.30pm. afterward, we went back to my friend’s aunt place (where we stayed) to have dinner. it was a home cooked meal and it was absolutely great. it was something that my friend had been looking forward to. as for me, i’m enjoying the food. some were similar to where i came from. others had different taste that i kind of like. then, as always, after dinner, dessert. and guess what? i found a very nice one. it was a rum cake, hmm……i could be dreaming about it if I kept on thinking about it. but, it tasted really really great. i think i ended up eating 4-5 slices, oh yeach…..just can get enough of it. thank u, auntie d.
all rite, by this time, it was time to kind of get ready to get back from vacation. time to pack and probably rest. but not yet, we have another stop. we went to one of my friend’s cousin’s newly renovated place. and, yes, it was really really nice. they did a very very nice job in renovating and decorating the place. i wish i took a pix, but oh well….

day 5 part 1 - morning run

waking up @ about 5.30 in the morning during vacation was definitely weird. but yet, that was happening to me the whole time during this time. today, i was awake around the same time, but did not get my body up until around 8.
i wasn't so sure whether my friend wanted to run or not. we didn't really talk about it the nite before, but my friend did mentioned days before. so, finally after confirming, we did run. beforehand, i did get a chance to have a little breakfast. little...? well, at least for me. altho according to my friend it was more than little. it was actually west coast's famous bbq pork bun (cha soa bao); hm.....thinking about it definitely made me want to steal it from my friend's. hahahha.....j/k....
anyways....we ran for about an hour. the plan was to go to a coffee place, but since we got kind of a small detour, we ended up not going to coffee place. it was definitely a nice whether for a run. at least for me. got a chance to do some uphill climb workout, altho as always, i wasn't planning to do. also, i was able to get some speed work.
here comes the interesting part; in the beginning, i was not planning to do some speed work. but somehow, i felt so comfortable and go during the run that at one point i actually kind of forgot that i was running with someone. it was not a sunny day, but yet it was not too cool. kind of wet roads, but not rainy. a little sprinkle and windy to keep me cool, and yet not foggy. it was just nice for me to run. got to enjoy some nice breeze, loads of fresh air, and wide open side bike lane.
at around the mid point, i told my friend that we can either keep going or go back. at first, my friend said to just keep going, but then when i said it was already 5k, then my friend changed the suggestion. so we went back the same route. what interesting to me is my friend was able to kind of keep up. we were not running side by side all the time, but i was impressed that my friend could still keep going and running. some of my other friends would probably already be walking at the mid point. but, this person was able to keep going until the last hill. so, yeach, i was quite impressed that i actually gifted this person.

day 4 - hepi new year...

well....the first day of the new year started with me waking up on the floor in the middle of a living room, now, wait, no, it's not like that and it's not that bad. it was just one of my friends' family tradition that they do every new year's eve. they invited all their relatives and close friends to stay over to be able to spend time. so, anyways, what a way to start a new year waking up on the floor. a couple of hours later, i said good bye to all the adults and kids in house that stayed over. then, i went to dim sum with my friend's other relatives. hm....dim sum, finally. anybody that went to west coast should definitely have dim sum. if not, u r definitely missing something on ur trip. nice place, and as always, crowded, for any chinese dim sum place, which that means the place is pretty good. never been there, then again, don't know i'll ever go back. oh well....
after breakfast/lunch/brunch/dim sum, i decided to call one of my friends' sister that live nearby the area. and so i did see her. she is actually the kind of person that consider as my little sister. since i'm the youngest kid in the family, so never have a younger sister. there was a couple of instances that made us kind able to connect in the sense of making me in the position of being the big brother. so, in a way, i do thank God for her that i could have that opportunity. the last time i see her was in 2006, and that was pretty brief, so this time, we got a chance to spend a lot more time and talk. talked quite a bit about families, friends, things that is going on, future plans, past experience, food, back home, etc. after meeting her, i actually felt pretty happy and somewhat proud of her. i thanked God that she is able to overcome quite a bit of adversities in her life. i do know she is always able to have fun in things that she does. but, based on the experience that i had with her beforehand, i am really happy that i can see her, see her progress to adulthood, see her maturity, and see her mind development. so, all in all, i am absolutely glad.
afterwards, we went straight to my friend's other relatives. after having met and visited so many that is from the mother's side, this time it is the father's side. oh my goodness, u mean this is not even half of it yet? oh well....
we went further north east from where we were. then went to dinner to chinese place. apparently it's one of the family's favorite place to eat. not bad at all. service was a bit slow, not sure why. it wasn't crowded. maybe, it's the new year thing.
the day ended with interaction and conversation with my friend's relatives, desert, and coffee. it seemed like not much that i did, but somehow i felt like i accomplished quite a bit.
new year 2009, new beginning, new ignition, definitely the year that i have quite a bit, well, actually plenty to look forward to and been looking forward to. thank u, God, for 2008. for everything that were.

end of long day 3 and the year 2008

we arrived at the destination of the day around 9pm local time. got to meet a lot of people. not sure whether i can remember all their name. let me see and try to jot down their names; william, joyce, emlyn, bruce, noreen, cliff, adrian and her borthers and sister, whcih i also don't remember the names, carlos and his wife, which i also forgot your name, helen, sam, letty, steve and the wife, sorry i totally forgot your name, mary-ann, devyn, jennifer, jesica; ok, i think that's all i can remember in terms of name. i'm pretty sure i forgot many of them. man.....sooner or later, my memory could ran out. hahha...j/k. and, on top of that, auntie noreen said all those are only about a fourth of the yvonne's family; oh my goodness..............r u kidding me.............??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by this time it was about 11pm, dec 31st, 2008. i did get a chance to eat some stuffs that was prepared by people. the food was definitely great. after the long drive, yes...it was definitely worth it.
at this point, we gathered around a room to say what we were thankful for the past year that we were about move on from. then, we did something called white elephant. interesting; since i don't get to this many times. and, it turned out i got an egg peeler, and a box full of goodies. thank u, God and to the people that prepared and wrapped all that.
so at 0am of jan 1st, 2009, everybody stopped and watch the ball drop in new york city time square from tv. i give my friend a hug and say happy new year to everyone that i can reach to. afterwards, i just walked around the house, watched tv, talked to some people, and trying to decide where to sleep until about 2am, maybe. and, well...i think that's enough for day 3. seemed like not much activities were done, but i definitely felt i accomplished a lot. thank u, GOD. definitely looking forward to more of the trip and well....for the most part, for the new 2009 year. God bless...